Christian Dior Dior

McLaren Scissor Doors 

While the world is starting to open back up I myself am still in quarantine. I haven’t really been hanging with friends so I decided to have a one on one girls night. My friend is an ER nurse so we never get to see each other but she was off this weekend so perfect. 

I arrived at her building and text that I was at the door. She texted me back the buzzer code and elevator passcode to get into her building. I entered the code multiple times but it wasn’t working so I called her thinking maybe I’m at the wrong building. As I walked to the corner to check to see if there was another entrance a guy and a girl came out of the door I had been trying to get in for the last 5 mins (of course the moment I walked away). My friend said she was coming down to get me so I just posted up by the door again in case someone else came out. I figured I would just walk in after them like a creep since now I have the elevator code lol. As I’m standing there waiting, the guy that previously just came out of the building pulls up to the front in his car and asks “are you trying to get in?”. I responded, “yes, my friend said she’s coming down though”. He says he will let me in and hops out the car. 

Now of course he couldn’t just hop out like a normal person. He was in a neon orange McLaren and when he hopped out he left the scissor doors open and also the car running. As he approached me I pointed to his vehicle and said “you forgot to close your door” to which he responded, “it’s cool if someone wants to steal it I can just report it stolen”. He walks up on me and he’s wearing Christian Dior from head to toe looking like he just stepped fresh out of a Pop Smoke video (R.I.P. 🙏🏽). He immediately just starts talking asking me where I’m from and TELLS me we are going on a brunch date tomorrow...no hello, no my name is, just acting like he’s not a complete stranger lol. My J.A.N. meter is going off the charts at this point. 

I let him talk, and talk, and he has yet to open the door. I slowly start walking closer to the door and finally, he taps his key fob and now I’m in. I say thank you and head towards the elevator. He then asks me to follow him on IG 🙄. Call me old fashion or a grandma but when guys ask can I follow them on IG verses can we exchange numbers it seems so childish to me. I let him type his lil info in the search on my phone and he follows himself from my page. He then asks if we can exchange numbers. I said I only give my number to people who I know their first and last name. I need your full government, please, and thanks. I could tell he was hesitant AF to type his full name but he did and I saved it in my phone. I for sure won’t call him but this exchange has been entertaining. 

I then say “nice meeting you and thanks again” as the elevator doors close and he’s waving goodbye. His IG is still pulled up on my phone so I decide to take a look at his profile. The FIRST pic I see is his face in between 2 butt cheeks in thongs with the caption “I just came here for the pic 😈  #IdidntThrowThisMoney #Christian Dior. LMFAOOO. 

This ladies and gents is what we call a classic J.A.N. 

-Sincerely, Sis