The Art of Wasting My Time
Confused & Emotionally Unstable
So I’ve been in town for about a week and like clockwork, my ex from 10+ years ago calls me out of the blue. I will give you the full story on him later because just thinking about it makes me tired, Lordt! I swear he has either a crazy sixth sense or he put a chip in me while we were dating. I’m really leaning towards the latter at this point. Lol. He asks when is the next time I will be home to which I hesitantly respond “I’m actually in town now”. He then proceeds to ask if we can catch up over drinks later so I agree just so I can get it out of the way on the front end of my trip.
I’ve learned it’s better to just get it out of the way when I touch down instead of dreading running into him while in town because I ALWAYS seem to run into him. I had dinner plans already so I said we could meet up after. I still can’t believe we even dated as his level of narcissism and pretentiousness is so off the charts. Lordt!
He picked me up and we headed downtown to a spot where they made us drinks to go since they didn’t have outdoor seating. Because social distancing. There was a park across the street so we took our drinks to the park and posted up. He started the conversation by asking me if we can basically try again. I instantly began singing in my head Bishop Bullwinkle “hell to the naw to the naw naw naw”. I decided I had time today so I let him make his elevator pitch and now it’s time for a teachable moment.
I let him finish and then I asked what I thought was a very simple question, “how have you changed?”. He then responded, “let’s not focus on the past”. Now most adults can have an open and honest conversation using their words but not this guy. Due to his grandiose sense of self-importance, he thinks that nothing applies to him and becsause he has moved past it only you have the issue. Whew chile the narcissism.
Now I really just went to have a drink and go on with my evening but I felt a good read building up in my shando. He is close to 8 years my senior yet still has the maturity level of a high school freshman. I then asked a different question, “why do you think I would be interested in dating you again?”. To which he responded, “because I have matured”. Now the universe if just trying to get a rise out of me at this point.
He continues going on and on about how he’s grown and all the things he has acquired to show his success. A new house, multiple cars, luxury watches, and thousands upon thousands of dollars spent on art…blah blah blah. To him those things mean he has matured. I finish my drink and the spirt just takes over as I proceed to read him into the ground starting with key points A-Z on how he has not matured. Followed by how not being accountable for your past actions has led us to this moment and how childish he truly is for thinking that buying me a drink and saying “I’ve matured’ was suppose to magically make us a couple again. Like GTFOH. His actions today are no different than they were 10 years ago.
He always looks for the easy way out if things which to me is cowardly and I don’t respect that from any man or woman. Don’t waste my time if you know you aren’t going to man or woman up to your shit. On periodT. He sat there and said nothing which lowkey pissed me off as I felt like I was basically scolding a child instead of talking to a grown man (hella annoying 🙄). That’s when I really turned up and all the f**k you’s started rolling out. Perhaps I was subconsciously waiting for a moment to get those off my chest. Lol. I ended the conversation saying we no longer need to do this whole acting cordial thing every time I’m in town. I rather just risk running into him and if that happens moving forward just act like you don’t even know me please & thank you. He says ok and we part ways.
The next day I wake up to 6 missed calls and countless texts from him saying he wants to talk. Like bruhhhhhhhh...you had nothing but space an opportunity to talk and you chose to sit there in silence when I tried having a dialogue. I realize that due to his lack of empathy he truly doesn’t believe that he did anything wrong and probably will never get how his actions impact others. Only a trained professional can get him there and I’m no therapist. So to that I say, Bye Sir.
Bless his lil confused emotionally unstable heart.
-Sincerely, Sis